


Reasons To Stay

by bewaretheboojum



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Cuddle Pollen, Drugs, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:07:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23333602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewaretheboojum/pseuds/bewaretheboojum
Summary: Someone is trying to replicate Poison Ivy's crimes and Tim is on their trail. He's exposed to an unknown compound in the process and Dick helps him out.Thanks to Silver_Snow_77 for the idea!Thanks also to Silver_Snow_77, vellaphoria and salazarastark for the beta help!!
Relationships: Tim Drake/Dick Grayson
Comments: 14
Kudos: 170





	Reasons To Stay

The wood of the door was rotted almost through, and it came apart easily as Tim pulled at it. The two story row home Tim was breaking into had been condemned shortly after the Quake hit. There had been a huge infusion of cash to restore damaged buildings in Gotham after No Man's Land, but those funds clearly hadn't made it to this neighborhood.

The broken bits of wood pulled at the thick body armor of his uniform as he pushed in through the door. Flipping the night vision lenses on in his mask, Tim looked around the first floor of the building.

The place was mostly empty. There were debris scattered across the floor and a few moldering sleeping bags tucked into one corner. A rustling sound made Tim pause in his tracks, standing perfectly still and holding his breath as he listened closely.

All he heard throughout the house was the scuttling of rats and the dull flap of pigeon wings.

Taking a deep breath of musty air, Tim looked around the floor. Someone was clearly squatting here, possibly several someones. The kitchen had mostly fallen in through the floor and the dining room had two dead raccoons laid out on the floor. No sign of anything elser.

The whole place smelled like rotten wood and fetid drywall. Tim grimaced as he eyed the sagging staircase to the second floor.

Over the past two weeks, there had been a series of robberies in compounding pharmacies all around Gotham City. The items stolen, if put together in the right order and quantity, could replicate some of Poison Ivy's more dangerous compounds.

As soon as Tim put that together, he started staking out the pharmacies in Gotham that carried the rest of the chemicals from Ivy's drugs. The night before, another spot was hit, but rather than busting the guy, Tim had put a tracker on his vehicle and tracked him back to this abandoned townhouse.

Tim knew the drugs had been unloaded here, but he just had to find where they were.

Sighing, Tim made his way to the staircase, carefully picking his way up the stairs. Moving gingerly, Tim worked to check each of the bedrooms, one by one. The first bedroom was empty except for a small black cat, dozing in a window sill.

The second one he found had a couple of folding tables pushed up against one wall. Sagging a little in the middle under the weight of a few hot plates and jars of chemicals, they looked moments from collapse. Shaking his head, Tim pulled a couple of sample baggies and some tweezers from his belt.

Eyeing a still warm hot plate, Tim reached forward to take a sample from the pot on the plate when he heard a loud crack.

The floor fell out from under Tim and he tumbled through the rotted floorboards, the folding tables coming down after him.

^*^*^*^*^

Dick breathed through his mouth and tried not to think about the smell as he added more food into Goliath's dish. With a loud, messy slurp, Goliath licked up the food with sloppy enthusiasm.

Squinting up at Goliath, Dick reminded himself that he really did love Damian dearly and feeding his pets was part of loving him. He repeated it to himself like a mantra as he tried not to cough at the stink.

Bruce, Damian and Alfred were on a little retreat down in the Keys. Dick had, foolishly, agreed to feed to the pets and check in on Gotham while they were gone.

And Dick was good brother and son and all of this was just part of loving--

The sound of a revving bike engine caught Dick's attention. Gratefully, Dick gave Goliath a tentative pat on the side before heading back into the main chamber of the Cave. Since it was only him tonight, he only had half of the lights on and he was using his laptop instead of Bruce's large bank of computers so the Cave was even more dimly lit than usual.

If he were Bruce, he would be able to tell who was driving into the vehicle bay, just by the sound of the engine. Dick, on the other hand, had no idea.

Making his way over to the vehicle bay, Dick watched with a little surprise as Tim's Ducati pulled up next to Bruce's bikes. Tim cut his engine and flicked off the lights before dismounting.

Dick was, frankly, surprised to see Tim.

Tim hadn't been spending a lot of time in the Cave these days. He hadn't been spending a lot of time in Gotham City either, really.

While he was at Ivy University, Tim had been working on a big case almost non-stop. For almost three years he had been tracking down an organized crime ring that operated on the Dark Web. It had all culminated in Tim raiding some guy's compound in South America. Dick had thought Tim was taking down some minor internet bad guys, but it turned into Tim eliminating one of the largest arms dealers in the Western Hemisphere.

Bruce had been... subtly proud when Tim uploaded his reports to the main server. Before he left on his retreat, Bruce mentioned that Tim had just finished up with the final clean up from the bust.

Now that Dick thought about it, he hadn't actually heard from Tim directly in close to three months...

Tim pulled off his helmet, letting it hang limply from one of his hands. Tim looked... thinner than he had when Dick last saw him, a thick stubble lined his jaw and his mouth was pressed in a thin, serious line.

"Tim--" Dick said, moving towards his brother.

Tim waved him off with a choppy gesture.

"No, I-- I need to follow decontamination protocols," Tim said, his voice was horse and made his way toward the main section of the Cave.

"Decontam-- Tim... What happened?"

"Later," Tim said. "Don't touch my bike."

Dick followed Tim over to the area of the Cave with the showers. That was when Dick realized that Tim was covered in dust, wood splinters and a lot of general grime. It looked like a house fell on him...

Tim tossed his helmet, then all the washable sections of his uniform into the decontamination chamber. He placed his electronics carefully into another chamber made to be used to clean their tech gear.

Dick swallowed hard as he watched Tim walk naked into the showers. Tim flicked the taps on and started to scrub down. Dick moved over to the decontamination chambers with Tim's gear inside and hit the buttons to start the protocols.

"Soooooo... rough night?" Dick called to Tim, speaking loudly so Tim could hear him over the shower spray.

Tim grunted in response and lathered up his hair. Wood chips and dust sluiced down Tim's back and into the drain by his feet.

"Who did you tangle with? Scarecrow? I thought he was in Arkham right now, but--"

"Not Scarecrow," Tim said shortly.

"So what--"

"I think it was one of Ivy's compounds."

"Wait, you ran into Ivy?"

"No, someone trying to replicate her formulas, I think."

"Waaaait... what?"

Tim explained to Dick about the compounding pharmacies, the tracer Tim had planted, the house he had found and then falling through the floor of the town house as the cooking compounds came tumbling down after him.

"Not a great night, then..."

"Not really..." Tim agreed.

"How are you... feeling?"

"Not... not the way I expected..."

What did that mean?

Dick was a little afraid to ask.

Tim scrubbed off for the requisite fifteen minutes, then flicked the taps off. He grabbed a towel, and Dick couldn't help but notice that the... um... usual effects of Ivy's compounds were not in evidence.

Glancing up at Dick from the fall of his too long bangs, Tim pursed his lips before speaking.

"Can you take a blood sample?" Tim asked, before toweling his hair dry.

"Oh! Yeah! Sure, absolutely. But are you sure that you--"

"It's... It's not nothing, but it's also not--"

"The usual?"

"Yeah," Tim said with a sigh. "Exactly."

Dick made his way over the medical bay and grabbed the equipment he needed to take a blood sample. He pulled the tools out of their packaging and set them out on a tray as Tim padded barefoot over to him.

Wrapping his towel around his waist, Tim sat down on a chair leaned back, looking up at Dick through his eyelashes.

Tim's expression was... unreadable.

Dick couldn't help but miss the days when he could read every thought and feeling Tim had. That phase hadn't lasted long, it was maybe a month or two into his training before Tim had learned to hide things from Dick. He got better and better over the years until...

Until right this very moment when Dick had no idea what he was thinking or feeling even through Tim had told him he had been dosed by Ivy's sex pollen...

Tim wasn't acting unusual, not really. His shoulders were a little more relaxed than usual and normally Tim wouldn't spend a second longer than necessary without clothes on but...

But he wasn't ripping at Dick's clothes in a fit of wild passion which...

Dick felt his face flushing as he realized he kind of regretted that Tim didn't seem to be sex-crazed.

Taking a deep breath, Dick closed his eyes to compose himself before reaching for the needle. Tim put his arm on the low table next to the chair and Dick drew a vial of blood slowly and carefully.

"So..." Dick said, swallowing around his dry mouth. "You sound pretty sure Ivy isn't involved in this."

"I'm sure."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I asked her."

"You asked her?"

"Yeah, I texted her yesterday and she said--"

"Wait, you text with Poison Ivy?" Dick asked, putting down the needle and vial and looking into Tim's face.

"Yeah..."

"Since when?"

Tim took a deep breath and half shrugged, rolling his eyes a little while he did it.

Tim's skin was flushed and a little warmer than usual as Dick put a band-aid over the puncture wound from the needle. Dick wasn't sure if it was from the chemicals he had been exposed to or from the shower but...

Tim didn't pull away when Dick's fingers lingered over the soft skin of Tim's inner arm.

"For a few years, now. She's not... She can be reasoned with, you know."

"I-- ok. What did she say?"

"When I asked her about the robberies she said she had nothing to do with it. Apparently she's been spending the past few months in the Pine Barrens."

"What is she doing there? Isn't that where hikers go to get hopelessly lost?"

"She said she was trying to get back to her roots?"

Dick sat back on his heels and looked up at Tim. Tim's face was serious. His pupils were dilated and he was breathing a little faster than usual, but otherwise...

He was inscrutable.

"Are you messing with me right now?" Dick asked conversationally.

"What? No... That's what she said."

"Jesus," Dick said, rubbing a hand over his face before getting to his feet.

"We should... we should test my blood."

Dick moved to do that while Tim washed off his motorcycle. By the time Dick had mixed the standards for the tests and popped them and Tim's blood into the lab equipment to do tox screens of Tim's blood, Tim had found himself a pair of boxers to pull on.

Just boxers through... Nothing else.

Tim walked over to Dick and watched him adjust the settings in the machine.

"Hoooow... are you feeling?" Dick drawled and Tim looked up at him again.

Tim's cheeks were flushed and his eyes looked heavy lidded. Licking his lips, Tim seemed to consider the question before biting his lower lip thoughtfully.

"About... about the same."

"I don't think..." Dick started, before pausing to swallow nervously. "I think you should stay here until we know what this stuff is doing to you."

Dick braced himself for Tim to bristle, pull back and storm off. He waited for Tim’s facial expressions and body language to shut down and shut him out. He waited for Tim’s bright blue eyes to flash with defiance and annoyance. He waited for the sharp, biting, always true words Tim would throw at him...

But Tim… Tim just tilted his head thoughtfully before nodding slightly.

"I think you may be right."

"You do?" Dick asked, surprised.

"I do," Tim said, pushing the reagent bottles back to their proper place on the lab bench. To put the last bottle away, Tim stepped in close to the bench, he arched up on to his tip toes and his shoulder brushed Dick's chest as he reached to put a bottle back in place.

"I--"

"The tests should be done in a few hours," Tim said, easing back down and looking up at Dick. "Maybe we can get some water while they run?"

"Not Zesti?"

Tim grimaced and shook his head.

"I'm feeling a little over caffeinated, I think..." Tim admitted, swallowing hard. "At least I hope this is just caffeine. Water... water would be good..."

^*^*^*^

Tim knew it wasn’t just caffeine. 

Something was… wrong. Different.

The Cave was never actually cold, but it was also never actually warm. Tim never spent any serious amounts of time down here unless he was fully clothed. 

Now, though… He was feeling warm enough, and lazy enough, that he didn’t feel like digging around the Cave for anything other than a pair of boxers.

Dick was watching Tim with a cautious sort of tension that Tim wasn’t used to seeing from him. It was as if Dick was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or something…

It made Tim wonder if he should be worrying about that too…

Tim eyed Dick interestedly as his brother led him through the Cave and up the stairs back to the Manor. Dick’s shoulders were tense and he stepped deliberately, carefully keeping the same pace as if wanting to make sure he could still hear, still feel Tim behind him.

Tim hummed to himself, before picking up his pace slightly, jogging past Dick on the stairs. He ran a reassuring hand over Dick’s back and side as he slipped past, looking back over his shoulder and giving Dick a small, encouraging smile.

“Tim?” Dick said, voice uncertain but picking up his pace to keep up with Tim. 

“Getting slow in your old age,” Tim teased. 

They made their way up to the kitchen. It was neat and tidy with a list from Alfred of all the meals he had packed in the refrigerator. Pennyworth the cat mewed at them plaintively and Dick went to refill his food dish as Tim got himself a glass of water.

He finished two full glasses and was sipping at a third when he pulled the list of meals off of the refrigerator door and read through it carefully.

“Why did he leave so much food?”

“I’m technically supposed to be spending my nights here,” Dick answered, coming up behind Tim to look down at the list.

“Yeah?”

“I’m pet-sitting.”

“How’s that going?” Tim asked, looking up at Dick with a grin.

Dick grinned back, but his bright smile faded into something…

Something almost nostalgic and sad.

“Goliath’s spit gives me hives…”

“Oh no… He spits a lot…”

“He absolutely does. And he eats a lot too.”

“And you? How many of these meals have you made your way through?”

Dick hesitated before grinning sheepishly down Tim.

“Honestly? I’ve been grabbing take out on my way home…”

“You missed Manny’s Meatball Subs,” Tim said knowingly, thinking fondly of all the nights the two of them had eaten those messy sandwiches after patrol, smearing sauce in the dust on their suits as they sat above Gotham City and watched the sun rise. 

Those moments with Dick, when Tim had been younger, they were the closest to perfect Tim had ever gotten…

“Among other things. I had some pizza from Sal’s the other day.”

“Pineapple and ham?”

“Absolutely.”

“Mmmm,” Tim groaned longingly. “Sal’s…”

Dick huffed out a soft laugh and Tim put his glass on the counter and leaned back against the cool granite of the kitchen island.

“Honestly, I’m… I’m hungry. I--”

“You?”

“It’s been awhile since I’ve been hungry as opposed to just--”

“Just what?” Dick asked.

Tim shrugged and swallowed as he moved to grab the list of meals back from Dick.

“As opposed to just needing food to keep going.”

Dick didn’t say anything in response, just watched Tim carefully as Tim eyed the list of meals and read through Alfred’s reheating instructions.

Tim had been…

Ever since Damian, ever since Bruce had been lost in time…

Tim had just been so angry. At first it had been a sharp sort of hurt, a cutting betrayal that bled into a raw sense of abandonment. Dick had taken for granted that Tim would always be there to help no matter what Dick did and Tim…

Tim found he couldn’t be that forgiving any more.

So Tim had been angry. 

So angry.

For so long.

For years he had held on to this biting resentment, the waves of fury, the lingering bitterness. He used it as a shield, as cover, as protection against…

Against ever being hurt like that again.

But now… standing in this kitchen where they had eaten and cried and bled together… 

Tim was having a hard time summoning that sustained anger at Dick.

“So…” Dick ventured slowly. “Did you want the risotto or a quiche?”

They reheated both and made their way to den. It was the only room in the house (aside from all of their bedrooms) that Alfred and Bruce allowed the kids to decorate. There was a large comfy sofa, a scuffed and stained coffee table, several misshapen throw blankets Steph and Harper had made during their brief knitting phase. Photographs and snapshots of all of them lined the walls in simple black frames, each wall covered with dozens of pictures spanning the past decade and a half. 

Dick put on a bad horror movie and they ate, wrapped in the blankets, half watching the movie. Tim ate all of his quiche and most of Dick’s risotto. 

When Dick took the plates back to the kitchen to clean, he made some hot chocolate. Dick grabbed a bag of cookies and some marshmallows to go with the hot chocolate. They ate their junk food, shoulder to shoulder, making fun of the movie and the acting companionably. 

It was…

Nice.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Dick couldn’t help but notice Tim was still acting strangely. He hadn’t bothered to find new clothes but he had one of Harper’s woolen abominations wrapped around him. He was paying far more attention to the junk food than he was the movie on the screen.

Apparently, in an effort to be closer to the cookies and marshmallows, Tim leaned over the sofa, pressing along Dick’s side. His skin felt warmer than usual, but he still cupped his cup of hot chocolate close. Tim seemed perfectly content to be tucked in close with Dick, his shoulders relaxed as he sipped at his mug.

They were about half way through the bag of marshmallows when Dick realized Tim was asleep. Tim’s eyes were closed and he leaned half on Dick’s shoulder, breathing deeply and evenly, more relaxed than Dick could remember seeing him in years.

Tim hadn’t fallen asleep on Dick like this since…

Dick flashed back to No Man’s Land. The cold, the smell, how it felt to always be hungry. The only solace they really had was the comfort of each other’s body heat…

Tim had been so young then, so small. While Tim had never been big on trust, he had trusted a lot more then.

A lot has changed since then. 

While Dick loved Damian and Jason, he never had the same kind of easy closeness with either of them that he and Tim managed to slip into so fluidly in those early days. He never seemed to have to try with Tim. He could always just be him and Tim could be Tim and it just worked for them.

Dick swallowed hard at a familiar tightness at the back of his throat as he looked down at Tim. 

These days…

Things were so lonely these days. Roy was gone, Wally was just so broken, Donna furious with all of them, Jason always on the run, Babs pulling away...

Sometimes Dick thought back to how it was just five years ago and he wondered how he could have ever let any of them slip through his fingers.

Tim murmured softly in his sleep and nuzzled into Dick’s shoulder. 

Dick’s phone buzzed softly on the sofa cushion next to him. He glanced down at this notifications and saw that the Bat Computer had transmitted the results from Tim’s blood tests. Scooping up his phone, Dick thumbed open the files and started to scan through them.

Tim had been right about one thing, the chemical compounds were the same as Ivy’s Sex Pollen. The person who had been trying to replicate it, didn’t get the proportions quite right though. The possible effects included in the report were: lethargy, dehydration, a large increase in Oxytocin levels. Behavioral changes could include: suggestibility, increased appetite, genality and agreeableness…

Dick glanced back down at Tim and realized he was exhibiting most, if not all, of the effects of the drug. 

Scanning through to double check that there wasn’t a possibility of dangerous side effects, Dick found that the blood sample showed no signs of ill-effects. 

Puffing out a sigh of relief, Dick tossed his phone back down on the sofa. As he shifted, Tim moved in closer in his sleep, stretching out on the sofa and half laying on Dick. Almost without conscious thought, Dick wrapped an arm around Tim’s shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

Tim said something in a sleepy murmur Dick didn’t quite catch.

“What was that?” Dick asked, softly.

“Those cookies… I like the cookies…”

“No kidding,” Dick said, with a laugh. 

Tim smiled sleepily and pulled the blanket around them both. Dick shifted them both so he could stretch out on the couch too. Tucking himself between the back of the sofa and Dick’s side, Tim made sleepy, pleased sounds as he settled back in and drifted off to sleep.

Dick fell asleep shortly after that, his stomach full and his brother warm against his side. 

It was Ace and Titus who woke him up a few hours later, nuzzling at his hand with cold, damp noses. Ace whimpered softly and Dick sat up, realizing Tim was gone. 

^*^*^*^

Tim had tested his blood before he left that morning to make sure the drugs were out of his system. The results said he was clean, but Tim was still feeling a little overheated and languid as he took off on his motorcycle. 

Dawn was just starting to break over the ocean as Tim drove, the cool, almost biting wind whipping up around him. The usual thrill Tim felt at taking his bike just a little too fast over these familiar roads coming out of the cave was more of a low purr of contentment at the base of his spine. 

When Tim left the Cave, he had planned to drive back into the city. Find his way back to his own bed, curl up and fall back to sleep but instead…

He found himself just driving… 

There was a section of the road leading out of the Cave that split off into a vee. One way led into Gotham and the other way led out onto a dirt road that followed the course of the cliffs overlooking the sea. 

For the first time in his life, Tim took the turn that let him follow the ocean. 

The wind picked up as Tim drove along the coast, watching the waves crash against the cliffs below. Tim was only wearing a light t-shirt and the wind ruffled the fabric around his back and blew in gusts against his skin while he drove.

Spotting a pull off on the road near a particularly steep part of the cliffs, Tim slowed to a stop and cut the engine to his bike. He walked over to a large, jutting outcropping of rock and climbed to the top of it.

The rock felt damp and cool to the touch, the air around him was thick with ocean spray and Tim could almost taste the salt when he breathed. Laying down on the rock, Tim looked out across the ocean, watching the sun slowly but surely creep up towards the light froth of clouds that splayed across the sky.

With his engine quieted, the birds began to return to their hunt, a cacophony of peeps and caws as they tried to call to each other over the crashing sound of the waves below. They flitted about through the sky, diving in and out of the ocean below in an arrhythmic sort of dance that Tim couldn't help but follow with still tired eyes.

When he had woken that morning, pressed against Dick's side he had felt good, close to another human in a way he hadn't felt since Kon died. It was almost jarring to feel that way with Dick again. It had been ages since they had been close and Tim had sobered up enough from the drug to understand that the feeling was at least somewhat artificial.

For a split second, fear had cut through the languid sense of comfort and ease he had been feeling and Tim had fled, leaving Dick asleep on the sofa.

The night before had been, like it had been back when Tim was younger. When his relationship with Dick was all about sharing pizza, watching bad movies and learning from him how to deal with Bruce, how to deal with being Robin and how to navigate the world. That trust they had established had served them both well when Bruce was laid up with a broken back and during the Quake and the outbreak...

So much had changed since then.

The birds Tim was idly watching suddenly changed their pattern of flight, wheeling off further down the coast, their calls fading into the crash of the waves. Just seconds later, Tim heard the hum of another motorcycle.

Titling his head back, he saw one of Bruce's bikes park next to his own. Dick dismounted from the bike, pulling off his helmet. He looked around, trying to find where Tim had gone.

Tim waved from where he was at the top of the outcropping. He could see, even from here, the expression on Dick's face change from one of concern to curiosity.

Idly, Tim wondered how Dick managed to get as far as he had in the superhero community when his feelings were always so evident.

Dick climbed gracefully up next to Tim on the rock and looked out towards the ocean.

"Nice view," he said tentatively.

"Better than bad horror movies," Tim replied. "You scared off the birds."

"Generally, scaring off birds is a good thing..."

"These birds are not controlled by some unseen evil force."

"Good to know," Dick said and leaned back on the rock next to Tim.

He was close enough to Tim that Tim could feel the heat of his body. Tim took a deep breath and looked back out over the ocean.

"Do you think we should maybe go back to the Cave?" Dick asked. "Double check that this stuff is totally out of your system. You know, before you start climbing slippery rocks that hang out over the ocean..."

"I tested my blood before I left," Tim said. "The computer said that the effects should be negligible at this point."

"And yet..." Dick said, gesturing out across the ocean. "Here we are..."

"I just... came here to think..." Tim said. 

"Thinking you can't do in the Cave?"

"How many deep and profound thoughts have you had in the Cave?"

"Almost all of my profound thoughts happen in the Cave when Bruce or one of my snotty younger brothers points out to me how dumb I've been."

Tim hummed in response but didn't reply.

"So what profound thoughts are you thinking?" Dick pressed, nudging Tim with an elbow.

"Do we like each other? Any more, I mean?"

Dick sat up straight and looked down at Tim, shock and upset clear on his face. Tim felt almost guilty but the after effects of the drug muted a stronger emotional response from him. 

"What the hell Tim? Yes, we like each other. We--" Dick paused then swallowed hard, looking down at Tim, hurt clear in his eyes. "Are you saying you don’t like me?"

"I tried not to. For a while. It was hard. After Bruce..." Tim trailed off and gestured with one hand in a sort of airy way.

"Tim... I was just doing what I thought was right with Damian,” Dick said, bitterness clear in his voice. “I was just doing the best I could without Bruce."

"The last time we were without Bruce," Tim said, sitting up to face Dick. "We did our best together."

Dick took in a long, deep, ragged breath and looked away from Tim, out on to the ocean, to where the birds were making a slow but steady return. Dick looked like he was struggling to find the words he wanted to say just then.

Tim blew out a sigh and laid back down on the rocks, focusing his attention back on the still dark and churning ocean.

"Don't worry about it," Tim said. "I get it."

"You... You don't, though," Dick said, and his voice was tight and a little hoarse.

Tim turned to look up at him and Dick was still looking out across the ocean. Tim didn't say anything, just waited for Dick to finish.

Dick swallowed hard and closed his eyes tight before looking back down at Tim.

"With Damian..." Dick started and then paused when his voice broke a little. "With Damian I had to be strong. I had to be there for him. I had to teach and guide him. I had to be good. And I could focus on that. I could focus on making it through because I had to be stronger for Damian."

Dick shook his head then, taking in another deep breath and clearly trying to compose himself the best he could.

"With you... with you... I can trust you. I can rely on you. With you, I don't always have to be better. I can... break a little. Because I know you'll always be there for me when I need it. You’ll be there when I can’t be perfect."

Dick blinked fast a few times and bit his lower lip.

"I was afraid if you were there for me, then I wouldn't be strong enough to do what I needed to do.”

Tim sat up then, watching Dick's face, watching him fight his emotions down. The ocean spray had dampened his hair and his eyes looked misty with tears. His expressive mouth was pressed down into a firm line as he tried to control his emotions. 

"And now... now because I pushed you back when I was trying to be strong, I broke something between us. Something I think we both needed... and I--"

Dick broke off then, Rocking back a bit where he sat and taking a deep and shaky breath.

As the sun rose, the light across the ocean was shifting from thick orange and deep red shades into a more brilliant golden yellow. The shadows that had been moving around them faded as the light grew brighter and the sky above them became a clear lightening blue.

Dick's face seemed to glow warmly in the rising light. His damp hair framed his pale face. He had shut eyes, trying to compose himself again and his dark lashes looked stark against his flushed cheeks.

"It doesn't have to stay broken..." Tim said haltingly and without really thinking he reached out a hand to cup Dick's cheek. Dick opened his eyes and looked at Tim, as if almost afraid of what he would say. "I think maybe we can try and fix it... Together."

Dick huffed out a soft laugh and swallowed hard, blinking back against tears.

Tim leaned forward then, pressing his mouth softly to Dick's. His lips were soft, salty from the sea spray all around them. Dick let out a low, almost surprised breath against Tim's mouth and then pressed forward, kissing Tim back.

Tim slid his hand to cup the back of Dick's head and pressed in closer, nuzzling at Dick's mouth and kissing his lips, his face, pressing them close together.

"I-- I don't..." Dick stammered as Tim pulled back from the kiss.

"Everything that happened," Tim said softly. "It does still hurt."

Dick winced at that but Tim pressed on, pulling Dick back in close and pressing their foreheads together.

"Make it stop hurting," Tim whispered to him. “Make it stop hurting.”

Dick let out a breath, then almost a sob but silent and low. He nodded his head and pulled Tim into a hug, the warmth of his body feeling good as the cool ocean wind whipped around them.

"I will. I'll-- I will," Dick said.

And for the first time in a long time, Tim believed him. Tim trusted him. And Tim stayed.


End file.
